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  • Breadcrumb

    1. Home
    2. Family, home and community
    3. Parenting and childcare
    4. Child Maintenance Service
    5. Arranging child maintenance yourself

    Family-based child maintenance arrangements

    In a family-based child maintenance arrangement, you and the other parent agree how you will arrange maintenance for your child. There's no cost to setting up this arrangement. Child Maintenance Service (CMS) doesn't need to be involved.

    Agreeing a family-based arrangement   

    A family-based arrangement must be agreed by you and the other parent. It does not always have to involve money but must be an agreement that suits you both. For example, you could both agree that the paying parent pays:

    • part of their income
    • a lump sum at different points in the child’s life
    • for specific items such as school clothes instead of giving money
    • a regular set amount directly to the receiving parent
    • bills such as home heating oil or mortgage payments

    You don't have to involve anyone else and the arrangement is not generally legally enforceable or binding. This means that a parent who stops paying can’t be forced to do so.

    Advantages and disadvantages of a family-based arrangement

    Advantages       Disadvantages
    A family-based arrangement
    is free to set up and is totally
    private. No one else needs to
    get involved in your affairs.
    If the other parent won’t give
    you accurate information about
    their income, you won’t be able
    to work out a figure based on
    their income.

    Doing things yourself can
    be quicker and easier than
    through the Child Maintenance
    Service (as long as you and
    the other parent is able to
    work together). There is no
    bureaucracy to deal with or
    set rules to follow. You can be
    more flexible about how, what
    and when payments should be
    made.

    If the other parent isn’t willing to
    co-operate, or refuses to
    take responsibility, a
    family-based arrangement
    won’t work. 
    If an arrangement can be
    agreed without solicitors and
    the Child Maintenance Service,
    it's easier to keep
    relationships on good terms.
    It can also be a good way to
    rebuild trust for the future.
    A family-based arrangement is
    not legally binding. Overdue
    child maintenance payments
    cannot be enforced or collected
    if your arrangement breaks
    down.
    People tend to respect their
    own promises more. When
    both parents arrange things
    together, payments are more
    likely to be made in full and on
    time.
    If you’ve failed to make a
    family-based arrangement work
    before, it’s less likely to
    succeed the second time.
    It’s flexible.
    You can make special
    arrangements or changes at
    any time, quickly and easily.
    If you don’t know where the
    other parent lives, or don’t want
    to have any contact with them,
    it’s hard to make a
    family-based arrangement
    work.

    A family-based arrangement is not final. If it doesn’t work go to Apply for Child Maintenance for more information about child maintenance options.

    Reaching an agreement

    It's completely up to you and the other parent how quickly you reach a family-based arrangement but it is important for the well-being of your child that an arrangement is put in place as quickly as possible.

    You will need all the information that will help you calculate a figure for child maintenance. You may be able to agree everything with the other parent in one evening.

    Information both parents need to know

    To put in place a family-based arrangement, you might find it useful to have the following information ready for your discussion with the other parent:

    • information about your income and theirs - if you have it
    • information about the living costs for your child such as school costs, clothing and food
    • information about your own living costs such as mortgage/rent and house bills
    • when you’d like child maintenance payments to be made
    • a date for when you review the arrangement

    Use the child maintenance calculator to get an idea of how much you might pay or receive. 

    • Calculate child maintenance

    Use the family-based arrangement forms below to record information agreed by you and the other parent:

    • Working out the cost of raising your children
    • Planning your Child Maintenance conversation
    • Your Child Maintenance Arrangement

    Paying child maintenance through a family-based arrangement

    A family-based arrangement allows you and the other parent to choose a payment method that suits both of you. There are different ways to pay child maintenance. You could set up a standing order or use a money transfer service. It’s a good idea to keep a record of every payment.

    Alternatively, you could agree to share the care of your child – for example they could stay with the parent who doesn’t have the main day-to-day care during the school holidays or on some nights during the week.

    • Shared care in child maintenance cases

    Paying by standing order

    If you want to pay or receive the same amount of child maintenance on a regular basis, you could set up a standing order. This is where the money goes directly from one bank account to the other.

    If you're the parent who doesn’t have the main day-to-day care, standing orders can help you to:

    • keep a record of payments made
    • stop debts from building up
    • manage your finances more easily

    Getting payments without sharing your location

    If you do not want the other parent to know where you live, ask your bank to set up an account with a ‘non-geographic’ sort code. The Child Maintenance Service can give you a letter for your bank explaining why you need to set up this type of account. They can give your bank details to the other parent if you do not want to contact them.

    Paying by money transfer service

    If you don't want to share your bank details with the other person, you could use a money transfer service, such as:

    • PayPal website  
    • MoneyGram website

    PayPal offers an online or 'e-money' transfer service.

    With MoneyGram you can transfer money through the Post Office, or you can do it online.

    It is important to know that some of these services may charge a fee. Check with the service provider to make sure you understand if any charges will apply.

    If your circumstances change

    With a family-based arrangement you can change the way child maintenance is paid if your circumstances change - as long as both parents agree.

    For instance, if the parent without the main day-to-day care of the child loses their job, you could reduce their child maintenance payments temporarily and then increase them again when they're back in work.

    If the parent who looks after the child everyday needs urgent repairs to their home, the other parent could help with the cost by paying a lump sum, instead of their regular child maintenance payments.

    When you can stop paying Child Maintenance

    Mothers and fathers should continue to contribute towards child maintenance for children who are either under 16, or under 20 and in full-time education (but not higher than A-Level or same level as).

     

     

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    Arranging child maintenance yourself

    • Apply for Child Maintenance
    • Family-based child maintenance arrangements
    • How child maintenance affects benefits

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