Young people who can talk about sex with their parents tend to delay having sex and are more likely to use contraception when they do. However you may find the idea slightly awkward, or you may not know where to start. Here are some tips to help you on your way.
Talking about sex to your child doesn’t mean you are encouraging them to have sex. The best way to start talking about sex is to:
You may want to talk to your teenager about a number of things to do with sex and pregnancy. These might include waiting to have sex, contraception, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and the effects of having a child while they are still at school.
There are many ways you can help:
You may find that your teenager does not have the same values as you when it comes to sex. Try not to let this bother you - it's just a normal part of them growing up.
For resources, leaflets and advice available you can contact:
Cara-friend is a voluntary organisation providing befriending, information and support services to lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Northern Ireland. The organisation also provides services to families, including a peer support group for parents.
There are many laws designed to protect young people from sexual abuse. They need to know about the things that aren’t allowed. Information is available on the Northern Ireland Office website.
If your child tells you that they are pregnant or that their girlfriend is pregnant, the most important thing to do is stay calm. You will need to support the teenage mother in whatever decisions she makes.
The first step is to see her doctor or young people's service. They will confirm the pregnancy and tell her about services in the area for pregnant teenagers. Hospitals and health visitors often have services for teenage mothers. Some services, such as Brook, have counsellors who will be able to explore how she feels about her pregnancy and give impartial information on her options.
The Department of Education expects all schools to be supportive of pupils who become pregnant. Pregnant and parenting schoolgirls should be treated the same as any other pupil. They should be helped to complete compulsory education and remain in education beyond school leaving age if they wish.
Pregnant and parenting schoolgirls are expected to attend, health permitting, the school at which they are registered. There is a support programme to meet the needs of these young women, including child care.
If the pupil wishes, they can be referred to to the Education Welfare Service. They can get the support of the School Age Mothers’ (SAMs) Programme based with Barnardo’s Young Parents Network. The programme provides support with the educational as well as social, emotional and personal development needs.
You can obtain more information on the Barnardo's and Education Support websites:
Health professionals will always encourage sexually active young people to talk to their parents about their situation. However, young people have the same rights as adults when it comes to confidentiality. This means that a doctor does not have to tell parents when a young person seeks contraception or sexual health advice and treatment.
In some cases, health professionals may decide to refer a case to social services. This might happen if there is a large age difference between the two people involved, or if there is evidence of abuse. When dealing with cases involving younger teenagers, it will often be decided that there is a risk of harm and social services will be called.
According to current law, a mother always has parental responsibility for her child. A father, however, has this responsibility only if he is married to the mother or has acquired legal responsibility for his child.
There are several different ways for a father to get legal responsibility for their child, such as registering or re-registering the birth, or applying through the courts.
For more information on talking to your child about sex, you can contact:
Parents
